


Enough

by IrethWaverly



Category: Pacific Rim
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Coping, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, One Shot, Past Character Death, Post Movie, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 13:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5050225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrethWaverly/pseuds/IrethWaverly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can’t sleep, the words echo in his brain. Voices of those he’s lost, those he failed, those he will never hear again outside his own head, spin through his mind, branding him with their reproach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough

_Hey, kid, don’t get cocky._

_Haven't you heard Mr. Beckett? The world is coming to an end._

_I want to come back from this mission, cause I quite like my life._

He can’t sleep, the words echo in his brain. Voices of those he’s lost, those he failed, those he will never hear again outside his own head, spin through his mind, branding him with their reproach.

After they had closed the Rift he had nights where he woke up screaming, nights where he would wake in cold sweats, shaking, with medical personnel hovering over him unsure if he would be able to tell them from the monsters fighting in his head. Those nights had thankfully-- with time, medication and Marshall Hansen’s mandated therapy-- mostly petered out after the first couple months.These nights however, when the terrors weren’t hiding in his dreams but his waking mind, where the monsters were not the horrific kaiju but the reality of what he had done, continue to persist.

These are the nights when he pads across the hall, slipping into Mako’s room and into her tiny standard issue bunk that can barely fit one adult human on their own, much less two grown pilots. She’s already moved to make room, what little there is for him, likely having woken the moment she heard Raleigh’s door lock disengage- always alert, always watchful even in the ungodly hours of the morning; years of growing up in active Shatterdomes teaching vigilance that cannot be unlearned, even though it has been months since the last of the kaiju had fallen and the Tokyo dome closed just as the Rift had.

Mako Mori does not cuddle, it’s just not who she is, who she will ever be, but her solid body pressing back against his right side, adding a comforting presence to the place where Yancy had always been, the space that had been terrifyingly empty for five unbearable years, is enough. The voices in his head quiet, replaced by the intentionally peaceful breathing of his drift partner. It will not function to lull him to sleep any time soon, even with her calming presence he’s still too keyed up for slumber to come easily. But he can finally begin to relax, to breathe through the suffocating guilt, to work through decades of loss and pain and choices he’ll forever regret.

He may not sleep tonight, he may have another bad night tomorrow or the next day or next week. But Mako is there, and breathing, and Raleigh Becket finds that that is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Any feedback is appreciated :)


End file.
